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It is the soldier, not the reporter,
Who has given us freedom of the press.

It is the soldier, not the poet,
Who has given us freedom of speech.

It is the soldier, not the campus organizer,
Who has given us the freedom to demonstrate.

It is the soldier,
Who salutes the flag,
Who serves beneath the flag,
And whose coffin is draped by the flag,
Who allows the protestor to burn the flag.

Quote from:

Father Denis Edward O'Brien, USMC

Quicky update

 My pills are really starting to mess with me. I am on my third since Easter. I was on Paxil, the Buspar, now I am on Prozac. I also am still on the Xanax The Prozac has been the best so far, out of all of them. The only thing I am worried about is that I still get the nervous reactions, and the thoughts. I had another sleepless night going thgough memories. It will be interesting to see what happens next. I am still getting the panic attacks, just not as bad, or often. I am getting used to the idea of taking the pill every day, Although I stll do not want to. People say they notice a difference, but I do not notice any except for the bad reactions.

I started working at Taco Bell again. Yipee! NOT. Luckily it is ONLY a temp job. Its a half hour drive each way, but thats not that bad. Its less of a drive then when I worked in Clarkston, except when I stayed in Clarkston. I like the crew members. I just want out! I might start working at Lowes by me. That would be nice! I will probably stay with Taco Bell for a bit just for the extra income. 

As far as the wedding goes, we haven't been doing much. Both of our moms' know. plus some of the rest of the family. My dad doen't know yet as Mom wants to wait until he is done with his current medical procedure. Eric is planning on going with his dad to see his Grandma and talk to him then. He also needs to talk to his aunt and uncle about using their place, but he is planning on doing that in the next week. He wanted to wat a bit after the funeral. We saw them on Mothers Day but he said he didnt feel right talking to them about it that day. Which is cool. I am glad that he is totally in to the wedding. He has a lot of ideas plans, and thoughts. It is really nice having a guy who cares about it. He thinks of it as OUR day not mine. I know we are going to have to actually plan and do more stuff. Eric suggested that we both take Monday's off work to plan wedding stuff. 

Humans are fun, aren't they?

COMMERCE CITY, Colo. -- A couple fighting about which gang their 4-year-old toddler should join caused a public disturbance that resulted in the father's arrest, Commerce City police said Thursday.


On Saturday, Joseph Manzanares stormed into the Hollywood Video store where his girlfriend worked, threatened to kill her and knocked over several video displays and even a computer, Commerce City police Sgt. Joe Sandoval said.


After he ran out of the store, police were called and the 19-year-old was arrested at his home.

His girlfriend told police that they had been arguing about the upbringing of their son and which gang he should belong to. The teen mother, who is black, is a member of the Crips. Manzanares is Hispanic and belongs to the Westside Ballers gang, the woman said.


"They have different ideas on how the baby should be raised. Basically, she said they cannot agree on which gang the baby would 'claim,'" Sandoval said.


Manzanares was charged with disorderly conduct, harassment, and domestic violence. He was transported to the Adams County Detention Facility.


On Tuesday, he pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct and was sentenced to a year of probation. The misdemeanor harassment charge was dropped.

Okay it's getting to be very scary and official. I told Eric's mom that we are planning on getting married next summer. She didn't seem to surprised which is good, I guess. I think I was more surprised that she wasn't :) Oh well.

Next I have to talk to my parents still. I don't know it just doesn't seem like something to send in an email or IM. I have to go up there after school is out to see my (awsome) doctor. I guess it will just have to wait till then.

We were going to wait till June to tell Mary (Eric's mom), I just felt that since we were finally sure, she should know. Although I find it funny that it seems more people in his family were sure of us getting married next summer that we were.

So far we don't know much. We figured out the bridal party! That will be:
Melissa L. - Maid of Honor
Diana B. - Bridesmaid
Alana C - Flowergirl
Jared C. - Best Man
Jason H. - Groomsman
Ian W. - Best Man

We also decided that instead of just doing cake we want a dessert table. The only thing is these will be family orientated. Such as fudge from his grandpa, peanut butter candy from my grandma, etc. etc. I don't plan on picking only one color or anything. I guess you can say I am doing a theme: Summer time. I want vivid colors, daisys, butterflies, etc. I also dont think I am going to pick out actually bridesmaid dresses. Just pretty dresses. We found an easter type dress that is white with purple and pink "stamped" daisies on it that would be perfect for Alana. So maybe will get that then try to find a dress that matches the blue for Di and a pink for mel. Who knows. We still have plenty of time to think.

Okay it's official, I suck at blogging. It has been 44 weeks since I last posted, which is pathetic since I am on it at least once a day. Oh well. I'd promise to get better but, I never will.

So anyways not a whole lot is going on. Still dealing with school. I should be done in two years. It is really hard to stick with it for me. I just wish that it was easier. Now I am not expecting no homework or anything, just easier to get to and from school. Some days I wonder if teachers try to annoy you half to death. It doesn't help when people constantly go "well so and so graduated when are you?". Well unlike them, I have to work my way through school and the last three semester I have only gone part time. I am doing the best I can.

Eric's grandpa is in the hospital. He says he is doing better and should be out in a week or so. Eric and I are worried though. We went and saw him last night and just have some concerns.

It got me and Eric talking about us getting married. He had originally wanted to get married in 09 but, I asked if we could put it off another year. Now he's starting to worry about putting it off. I know when we talked about getting married he said how much it would mean for him for his grandparents to be there. I don't know what to do now.
So I never seem to update this journal. Don't know why as this seems to be the only journal I can write in with out pissing off people.
I am in the process of being promoted to Shift Lead at Taco Bell. Not the grandest job, but its a job while I am in school. If I keep doing as I am I can be making over 10. an hour by the time I graduate. woo hoo. Oh well it pays the bills. I just need to keep it till I get a job teaching, or Eric joins the service. I am not sure what I will do then but we are discussing it. Which is nice. Usually the boy won plan more then 24 hours in advance, and this is two years. I only hope that it will be easy to work around. I don't want to live on my own, I never have. Talk about a weird fear, but I was raised in a big family. You were never allowed to be alone. I also have the problem of not knowing how long he will be going in for. IF he likes it he might not ever come out. I don't know what I will do then. I want to be a teacher and it isn't easy to teach if you want to follow your husband around. (no he is not my husband yet.......... not the point.)
Well I have to go rinse my hair now so tata.


Wow, boy did I forget about this journal. What can I say life is hectic. Real updae to follow...................


Why is it that someone comes in to your life, becomes one of your greatest friends, and then ditches you. And if this is not enough they come back in to your life again, say 4 years later, aplogize, and you start to think sweet we can be friends again! Only to have them disappear off the face of the earth. WTF?!?!?!?!


Do you ever have so much going through your head, you just don't know where to start to get it out? Eighty billion thoughts are going through my had and I just keep getting upset. I know I am stressed to the max right now and need to chill, I just don't know how to. Work and school alone are killing me, and add it to the stress of everything else going on, I just don't know what to do.

random work detail

Yea work sucks. Although I had some fun today with the lady who called and complain that the apartment above her was making too much noise. The apartment above her, is vacant. Huh. I wonder if we have ghost here. Scary.